Contingent
by anabelgem14
Summary: Life is subject to change. At any moment, someone could say or do something that alters your life forever. Life is contingent, and there's no changing that, so there's no need in trying. The real challenge is learning how to live with constant change.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! Anabelgem14 here! I fell for the Divergent Trilogy- fast and hard, like when you fall in love. It's all I can think about. I finished the entire series in three days. That being said, this will be an "Allegiant Alternate Ending" story. The ending of Allegiant was heartbreaking, as I'm sure everyone that has read it can agree. I'm still deciding whether or not I like it. It's complete, but that doesn't make it any easier to stomach. (Honestly, I can't be the only one who feels like puking every time I think about it.) This is me, trying to sort through what I'm feeling. It will be messy. It will probably be short. It won't be close to Veronica's writing, so if that's what you're looking for, go read her blog. But this is it. Contingent.**

* * *

** Con·tin·gent**

dependent on what may happen: dependent on or resulting from a future and as yet unknown event or circumstancepossible but not certain: possible, but not certain to happenchance: happening by chance

* * *

Tris

"Give me the backpack, Caleb." Where is this coming from?

"No." His face is panicked. He must not have anticipated me trying to change the plan. I didn't either, Caleb.

"Don't be stupid. I can fight the serum. I can come out alive." The guards grow closer. I draw my gun and fire, noticing from the corner of my eye Caleb is pulling something from his pocket. Before the first guard hits the ground, I'm firing at the second. Two thuds.

I stop to catch my breath. "Caleb. The backpack." When I count to three, I will start running again.

"Tris. I' not going to let you give your life for me. Quit being selfless for once in your life. You have so much more to live for than me." Two.

Why is he choosing now to redeem himself for what he's done? I feel the weight of the gun in my hand. A shot to his foot won't kill him. Only stun him, and hopefully render him unable to continue. Three.

Before I can register what's happening, a searing pain rips through me. White hot. All I can see is white hot. I shouldn't be able to see white hot. But it's all I can think of. I fall, the gun clattering to the floor and firing blindly down the hallway towards the guards. I have to force color into my vision, and find the source of my pain. A knife, sticking from my left leg. I was stabbed. My brother has stabbed me.

"I'm sorry. I can't let you do this." He reaches down to take my hand, but he is not trying to help me up. He is saying his goodbye.

With a sigh that leaves me dizzy, I know he is right. I've been selfless ever since I chose Dauntless. It is someone else's turn now. That may be selfish of me, but I am too dizzy to care. I am selfish. I am brave. And now Caleb must be brave, too.

Blood. So much blood. "Caleb," I say, "I love you."

His eyes gleam with tears as he says, "I love you, too, Beatrice."

Pain rips at every inch of me. I grunt, sweat dripping from my forehead and into my eyes. When did I start sweating?

"Be brave." I whisper, dropping his hand. He looks at me, and nods, determination set on his face unlike anything I'd ever seen before. He walks away and turns the corner.

I know that this is what is supposed to happen. But it doesn't make me hurt any less. And since I'm already hurting, I grit my teeth so hard so hard they crunch and drag myself over to the wall. I am in so much pain; the tears are clouding my vision so it takes me longer than I intended. I soon feel the shudder of the explosives. I shudder, and I say one last prayer for Caleb.

I hear heavy footsteps approaching-running. I am ready. Three guards, down. I don't really care where I hit them, as long as they are unable to move afterward.

Not long after, two more guards round the corner, but I don't even think they see me before I'm firing. It is some time during this second round of attack that I feel the air change. I feel a weight bear down on my mind. Caleb must have succeeded. He did it. We did it.

No. I didn't do this. I let him, my last family member, do it for me. I should have shot him first. He probably knew what I was going to do. The Erudite in him shows more than I realized. Wait—showed. Hot tears fall on my face and I find no reason to wipe them. I'm surprised I can feel anything at all through the pain in my leg. Black spots cloud my vision.

I think, hopefully, that the footfalls I hear are Caleb's, but with my eyes focused on one corner, I miss Cara rearing around the other. "Tris?" I look at her. She is bleeding heavily from her arm and face. But she is alive. "What happened?" I see her focus go to the pool of blood around my leg. I am surprised, too. I didn't realize there was that much blood in one person.

I shake my head, and wince. More black spots. "Later. Caleb. Please."

She nods, jogging past me and around the corner. She only asked one question. That must be a record for an Erudite.

As I wait, painfully, for her verdict, I reflect on my relationship with my brother. We grew up together, brother and sister. But some times we were more than that. I remember, as I have a lot in these past few weeks, when my mother broke her wrist, and he comforted me. I think my life in Erudite headquarters. When I felt the crushing blow when I saw him standing my the door.

My brother, a traitor.

I start to succumb to the pull of unconsciousness. No. I can't continue to think of him that way. Even though the fate of the factions is unsure, I know I will no longer live by the motto "faction before blood." Blood is thicker than the water of the Erudite bowl on Choosing Day. Blood is love. Love before faction, always.

Blood. So much blood surrounds me. The sight of it makes me dizzy, and I close my eyes—just for a moment.

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**So that was my first chapter of Contingent. Don't freak out and think that just because there will be multiple points of view I'm going to go killing off a main character. (There goes that nagging feeling in my stomach again.) I, unlike many readers, actually liked the Tris/Tobias split. That's what this will be. Tell me what you think. Leave a review. Or nah. I don't really care, but they're appreciated. **

**Until Next Time, Anabelgem14**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm not Veronica Roth. I can't write like she does.**

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Tobias

The ride back to the compound is filled with tension. There is an annoying, nagging feeling in my stomach—something is wrong. That is why I'm not surprised by the look on Cara's face. I'm terrified by it.

"Where's Tris?"

She doesn't answer. My heart sinks. She is okay. She is okay. She is.

"Something happened."

Christina's voice is sharp. "What happened?" I almost forgot there were other people around me.

Cara turns and starts inside, and the group follows. I feel like sprinting, but I have no idea where I'm going. The hospital—or the morgue? I have to shake my head to rid the thought. I can't afford to think that way.

"Right before Caleb went to set off the explosives, the compound went into lockdown. I suspected David figured something out. I went to find him. He's dead."

"I swear if you don't tell us what happened to Tris—" Christina is livid. I grab her arm to calm her. This won't help anything. I look back and see Amar, stopped with Uriah's family. That's probably a good idea. They don't need to see Tris when they have their own loved one to worry about.

"She tried to take his place." Cara says quietly.

Suddenly, all I'm doing is breathing. Everything else has left my mind. Of course she would try to take his place. Of _course _she would. She is gone and

all I'm doing is breathing.

I am just barely aware of Christina's gasp.

"Caleb wouldn't let her, though. He stabbed her in the leg." My heart soars. She will be okay. Despite the situation, which is far from perfect, I find myself smiling. "She lost a lot of blood. Passed out and hasn't woken up. They're looking for a blood type match so they can do a transfusion." We turn into the hospital wing. "They said there's a lot of nerve damage."

"Bad enough that she'll never walk again?" Christina asks.

Cara doesn't answer.

We stop in front of a room. Tris is laying on the bed, and if I didn't know her better I'd say she was sleeping. She is too pale, more pale than usual. Her leg, though covered, is heavily bandaged. I can see it bulging from under the blanket.

I walk to her, and kiss her. She doesn't kiss back. It should hurt me, but it doesn't. She is here. She is breathing. She is beautiful.

"She's alive," I whisper.

The doctor, who went unnoticed in the corner, clears his throat. "Yes, sir, but she's not out of the woods yet. She's lost blood. Too much. If we can't find a match for a transfusion, she might not make it."

I look down at her, and it's hard for me to picture her as anything but sleeping. The pain is too much.

"Can we be tested?" Christina asks. I forgot she was here.

"Yes, I'll grab a nurse." The doctor leaves.

Her hand is between mine, and I can't stop myself from kissing every exposed part of her body. Lips. Forehead. Cheeks. Arms. Lips. Collarbone. Hands. Eyes. Lips. Lips. Lips. I hardly register when the nurse asks for my hand. Cara groans and rips it off of hers, handing it to the nurse. I shoot her a glare that makes her shrink out into the hallway. Christina is visiting with Uriah's family, but her blood was not a match. I am Tris's only hope. I will it to match. We are family, after all.

* * *

"Mr. Eaton?" A small nurse speaks, interrupting me from my thoughts. "Your blood was a match."

A sigh of relief escapes my pursed lips.

"I'll give you a few minutes to prepare, but we need to draw the blood as soon as possible. Her blood pressure is dropping."

I nod, and squeeze her hand one last time. I kiss her. I stand.

For a moment, I wonder how the nurse knew my name, but I remember that they've been tracking us for years. Probably had every possible stat on us they could. Blood type, DNA sequence, the length of the hair on our heads. I chuckle to myself.

I feel drained—literally—after the procedure, but the first place I find myself is back at her side. Christina, and then Cara and even Zeke offer to take my place. I refuse. There's nowhere else I need to be. I am her only family now. I need to be here when she wakes up. If not for her, then for myself. She is mine. I am selfish, and she is mine.

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**A quick side note. Allegiant was my favorite of the three. The end was so raw I cried myself to sleep. I also liked a lot of ****the phrases Veronica used, so you'll see them popping up throughout my story. I tried to give Tobias the voice he has in my head. Hope I do him justice. Also an apology is in order for last chapter. I was so ready for you guys to start reading my thoughts that I didn't proofread. And it was bad. So hopefully, you'll forgive me. I triple checked this one, but only Jesus is perfect, so there might be a few slip ups.**

**Until Next Time, **

**Anabelgem14**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm not VR. Shoulda known that by now.**

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Tris

I see light everywhere. Even behind my closed eyes, it's all I can see. I force them open painfully.

I see my mother. She is dressed in the same clothes as the last time I saw her. I can see the bullet hole, red but not bleeding. "Mom?"

She smiles. "My sweet child."

I'm scared. "Am I… Am I done?"

She reaches out to take my hand. She is warm. "You get to decide that."

I miss her, probably the most I have since she died—and she's standing right in front of me.

"How?" I don't finish my question, but I don't need to.

"Our great and wonderful God."

I look for Him, but we are the only people here in this white expanse. Heaven? "What should I do?"

She laughs. "Beatrice. I've raised you to be a strong woman. And that is what you are. Strong enough to decide for yourself."

A feeling pricks at my heart—anger. It feel so wrong here, I instantly feel guilty. She is right. I am strong enough. "Is it nice here?"

She nods, her blonde hair bouncing around her face. "Life is nice, too."

I think of Caleb. Not long ago, my brother and our parents were reunited. "Is Caleb angry with me?" Tears threaten to fall on my cheeks.

"No. He's proud to have called you his sister, as I and your father are proud to have called you our daughter."

"I miss you."

She squeezes my hand. "I miss you too, Beatrice. But think of Tobias."

My heart quickens at his name. It is so easy to forget about earthly things here. Wherever we are. I decide this is Heaven. Can I be forgiven for all I've done to get here?

"Will you be mad if I don't stay?"

She shakes her head. "You've done so good. You deserve a life, free of conflict. Full of peace."

"So do you and Dad and Caleb."

My mother doesn't speak for a minute. "We never really had a choice, honey. I would give up my life again in a heartbeat if it meant you got to be happy, even for a little while." I think of Tobias. A life with him. What is he doing right now? And Christina? Will Uriah survive? My mind shifts to staying with my family. There will be no pain here. Who do I love more?"

She seems to read my mind. "If you have a chance at a happy life, you should take it. Love with worth the fight, Beatrice. It always is."

I realize she is right. I have been fighting this war for love. First, for my faction. And then my family. And then Tobias. I can't give it all up.

I smile. So does she. She already knows what I've chosen. I hope, sarcastically, that she can't read my mind when I'm on earth.

"One day, Beatrice." Why am I not sad? I am leaving my family. Again. "Don't be sad. We'll always be with you. Watching over you."

She pulls me into a tight embrace. Already, I can tell one of us is being pulled away. The tug from my belly button informs me that it's me. I'm being pulled away from my other. This time I let her go.

* * *

Tobias

The doctor said the transfusion went well. So why isn't she waking up? It's been 2 days since the final attack, and with some help from Matthew and Cara, all the scientists have been reset. They believe there is a reason for violence, but to them there is no difference between GPs and GDs. I stare at her blond hair falling on the pillow and her tattoo peeking out from under her night gown. The things I love about her.

Christina has given up on trying to get me to leave, and has resigned herself to staying, too.

"It will be good for Tris. When she wakes up, it will be a good thing to be surrounded by her family."

Family. That word used to scare me. I had an awful one. Marcus and Evelyn—well, who knows what will come of that? Will she stay in Chicago? Move to the compound or some unknown outside world?

My parents' marriage was never something I looked up to. The perfect marriage, to me, wasn't something I'd ever experienced firsthand. It was through the hand I'm holding now. Tris's parents. How they both died to protect their daughter.

I could count the number of people I'd die for on one hand. But when I picture my children, my heart swells, and I know now, that if I was ever selfless enough to have them, I would love them enough to give up my life. In a second.

Where is this coming from? I've never wanted children. I've always been afraid that I would end up like my father, and I can't be that. I couldn't bear to see the pain on their face. Thinking that Marcus did just makes me sick to my stomach.

I stare at Tris, and can't keep a vision of her from popping into my head—as my wife, pregnant with my child. They way her hand will rest protectively on her stomach, shaking with laughter. A ring on her finger. A smile on her face. Her face will show her hard life, but she will not let it affect her. She will name him Caleb or Andrew. Or maybe Will. Al. And if it's a girl, Natalie. Lynn. Tori.

"What are you thinking about?" Christina asks, snapping me out of my fantasy world.

"Why do you ask?" I try to steady my voice, which came out more vulnerable than I intended.

"Because you've been smiling at her like a pansycake for 5 minutes."

I duck my head so she doesn't see me blush, but realize now that there is no need to hide this. There's nothing to hide from anymore.

"A life with her." The statement is simple, but the words are loaded.

She's quiet for a while before she responds. "I'm happy you'll get to have one." I look at her, and she is sincere. I smile.

"I thought I was going to get a big lecture about how if I ever hurt her, I'll wake up dead."

She is standing, propped against the wall, arms crossed. "I don't have to. I know you won't. The person you've become with her is a good person." I'm confused, but she continues. "I always knew those reports about your dad was true. Everyone in Candor did. I knew who you were almost immediately." I squeeze Tris's hand tighter, hoping I don't hurt her.

"I'd only ever seen you during initiation, and I thought you'd end up like him." She pauses, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear, letting the words hang in the silence. I get what she means. Not the best possible first impression.

"But after the attack simulation, I started to see the person she'd been seeing all along." She threw her hands up. "You weren't the hard, dauntless-to-the-core, dark man with a record number of fears. You were a person. A human, like Peter and Will and Jeanine and Marcus and Tris and me.

"I know moving into this new world is going to be rough for you, because you're coming out of the old one with no dad, and this notion that you're damaged."

I wince, but she doesn't stop. She's been wanting to say this for a while.

She blows out a breath. "Who in the _hell_ isn't?" I chuckle, and she sucks in air, decided to join me in laughter.

Christina stops. "Why are you laughing?"

"This is the longest conversation we've ever had, and the only thing I can get out of this is that you'll always be a Candor smart mouth."

She tries to look offended. It doesn't work, "What do you think is happening at home? Will the factions survive?"

I look down at Tris. Some of the color has returned to her face. A good sign. I think of what put her here. The events of the past six months flood my mind, churning in the recesses of my brain.

"It's hard to tell, Christina. Our world is broken right now."

I feel a twitch from Tris's hand and smile.

"But if we don't fix it, who's going to?"


	4. Chapter 4

**I wish I was Veronica Roth, so I could say I created the enigma that is Tris Prior. Long Live Tris.**

* * *

Tris

I hear voices talking. The first one I recognize is Tobias. There is a girl speaking too—Christina.

It is these two people that make me open my eyes.

Tobias doesn't move to kiss me, and for that I am grateful. There are at least five people in this room. He gives me a smile, the one he saves for me, and it is enough.

Christina, however, would never be satisfied with just a smile. "Oh, thank God!" She pulls me into a crushing embrace. I gasp with pain. My leg. "Sorry." She lets me go, sheepishly. I didn't know Christina could look sheepish.

A doctor is standing at the foot of my bed, waiting for my attention. "Welcome back, Ms. Prior."

"Welcome back? How long have I been out?"

"Five days." This comes from the doctor, as well as Tobias, Christina, Cara, Matthew, and Amar, who it seems to have only stuck his head in the door to answer.

I groan. "How are the—" I don't know how much the doctors know about what is left of Chicago. I decide to change my question. "How's my leg?"

The doctor, a dark skinned man with gray hair, answers. "Well, I think you'd feel more comfortable discussing that in private." I catch something in the tone of his words. It is sympathy, I realize.

Everyone shuffles out, and the doctor waits for Tobias to leave. Tobias answers his look. "If I haven't left in five days, what makes you think I'm leaving now that she's awake?"

I have missed him. I feel my love for him come crushing back to me in those simple words. He stayed with me. The doctor looks at me, but I give him a pointed look, waiting for him to continue.

"Let's take a look." I throw the covers back, revealing my legs. I'm wearing a hospital gown, but it has ridden up close to my hips. I am acutely aware of Tobias's eyes scanning me. I follow the line of my legs down to my toes. I try to wiggle them. The ones on the left don't move. I try not to panic.

The doctor begins cutting away my bandages. When I feel the last layer fall away, Tobias cringes. I have to tear my gaze away from my toes to look at my thigh. "Oh."

The wound is about 6 inches long, stretching from mid-thigh to just above my knee. Even though there are stiches holding it closed, I can tell it goes deep.

"We were able to successfully remove the knife and repair the major blood vessels. However," he pauses, throwing one last glance at Tobias before continuing, "there is significant nerve damage."

Tobias mutters something under his breath, but I can't understand him. I don't look away from my leg. I can't. "What does that mean?"

"It means, Ms. Prior, that walking might be a problem for a long time. Permanent disability on your left side is possible."

I don't know why the words don't scare, because they should. I guess it's because I've finally realized that there are worse things that could happen to someone. You can lose both your parents in one day. You can lose your brother. You can lose the love of your life. My heart aches when I think of my talk with my mother. Already it feels like it was years ago, though I know it could not have been more than five days. This is not the worst thing that has ever happened to me.

"We think it would be in your best interest to stay in the compound for now, so you can see if physical therapy will help with the problem. After that, you should be fine to go back to Chicago, if that's what you decide."

This shocks me, and I snap my head to Tobias. How much do they know? His look says that he will explain later. The doctor can't leave fast enough.

A nurse comes in to redress my wounds. The silence hanging in the room is thick and uncomfortable. When she is done, I finally speak. "Thank you. Can you give us a minute?"

The doctor—I should really find out his name—smiles and leaves, the nurse following suit.

"Tris—"

"What do they know?" I snap. I don't mean to be rude, but he knows something I don't, and I don't like it.

He sighs. "They know what they need to. That there is something in human genes that promotes violence and war, but they don't know what it is. To them, there isn't any difference between GDs and GPs. They know about the experiments, but the reasoning behind them is different. They think Divergence is just another way to say well-rounded."

I reach for the covers, but I can't reach them without moving my leg, which is throbbing. He gets up and grabs them for me. I can tell he is trying very hard to avoid looking at my legs, which are still exposed. It makes me blush.

"What about your parents? And the city?"

He sits beside me on the bed, and I try to scoot over so that he has more room. I don't get very far.

"I couldn't do it. Couldn't give them the memory serum. I was going to give it to my mom, but at the last second I gave her the choice between the war and me, and she chose me. She chose me, Tris." He smiles. "We ended up talking to Marcus and Johanna, and they agreed to let the war go. There's no factions. It's like open territory. A brand new start. I haven't been back since the day of the attack."

No factions. My entire life is gone, now. No family. No purpose. No home. "And what about…Caleb?"

He just shakes his head. I knew that. I would have seen him by now if he were still alive. I want to feel something, but I can't feel anything. Not even Tobias's hand resting on my arm.

"My father told me when my mother died that it was a good death. At the time, I agreed, but now I don't. I don't believe in good death. Death hurts. No matter who it is or how they go out. Is that selfish of me?"

"We're all selfish in some way. I'm selfish because I'm glad he died instead of you." The comment pricks at my heart, but everything is still numb.

"I feel so guilty. I let my brother die for me. I thought about shooting him, but before I could he stabbed me."

He traces one of the birds on my collarbone. "I think I killed Uriah."

My eyes go wide. "Has he not woken up yet?"

Tobias stares into my eyes, and they are blank. I am scared.

* * *

"I want to take a shower." I don't know why I feel so dirty with someone else's blood in my body, but I do. The doctor, Dr. Harris, wouldn't tell me whose it was. Was it Caleb's? David's?

The nurse gives me a look. "I don't think you can walk yet."

I answer with a look of my own. "I don't think you control my legs."

Next to me, Tobias clears his throat. "Tris." I cross my arms, muttering that I am right.

"Have it your way, then." The nurse pulls the covers back, leaving my legs exposed. I see Tobias give her an amused look. I don't like that they're teaming up against me. I swat his hand away when he offers it. His mouth twitches. This isn't funny.

My right problem isn't the problem. It's the left, the one with the stitches and bandages. I still can't feel my toes. I grab my calf and swing it to the side. My mouth is clamped shut to hold in a groan. So much pain.

I think for a moment that I should just lay back down and let Tobias stroke my hair, and lull me to sleep. But I won't give him that satisfaction. He doesn't think I can do this.

I push off from the mattress and put my weight on my right ride. My leg feels funny. It hurts as soon as I place my foot on the floor, but I don't stop. There are tears clouding my eyes. I can't even get all of weight on it before I start to collapse. I would have hit the floor if it hadn't been for Tobias swooping in to save me. He grabs me around the middle and lifts me off of my feet. I am grateful, but I am mad at myself. Mt leg is throbbing. "Thanks," I choke. The nurse harrumphs.

"I'll schedule you an appointment with the sponge bath team," she says. I grimace.

Tobias sets me down gently on my bed, careful as to place my injury last, and softest of all. He crawls into bed next to me.

"It's going to take time," he says quietly.

"You don't understand. I've gone from running everywhere I go to being on permanent bedrest. Even I was shot, people didn't make this big of a deal. I'm chomping at the bit."

"That's because you getting shot didn't affect your ability to walk."

Something pops into my mind, and I speak before I can stop the thought. "What if I can never walk again? Will you still—" He cuts me off by kissing me. A hot feeling licks at my stomach. I grab onto his arms, to hold him as close to me as possible. It feels like centuries since we've been together, and it is too long. His hand ghosts over my ravens, and comes to rest behind my ear.

A throat clears from the doorway. "I hate to interrupt," Christina says, "but Uriah is awake." There is a light in her eyes I haven't seen since Will died. She is telling the truth.

Tobias's hand falls away from my face, and he is frozen, most likely in disbelief. He thought Uriah was dead. "I'll get a wheelchair."

* * *

**This extra-long chapter is my way of apologizing for not updating in a while. Review, follow, favorite. Love it, hate it. **

**Until Next Time, Anabelgem14**


	5. Chapter 5

**Guys, I'm sorry. I would tell you all the story of how my team won grand championships and I got a job offer and I almost lost my boyfriend, but you probably don't want to hear it. So without further ado, the chapter. **

**I don't own Divergent, or the quote used in this chapter. If I did, I might have ended it a little different... maybe. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Tobias

I hear his laughter before I see his face. That's when it hits me.

As I'm pushing Tris into his room, I feel so much relief. He is really alive, and I didn't kill him like I was convinced I did.

I nod at Uriah, and he smiles. "Tris!" He exclaims, reaching for her shoulders to pull her into a hug. If it hurts her, she doesn't show it.

"Hi," she says quietly.

"Glad to see you alive."

She laughs. "Same to you." Christina is standing on his other side, smiling. "So what happened?" Tris was probably confused. The last I'd told her, he was as good as dead.

"I'm not exactly sure. I just… I wasn't asleep, but I wasn't dead. I never even saw a light or Will or anybody. Honestly, it was just weird."

I feel Tris shift in her chair. She glances at me, and I give her a concerned look. I'm sure she will tell me later, when we are alone.

We talk to Uriah and his family until five minutes before visiting hours are over. In the hospital wing, patients are only allowed one overnight visitor. It is not even a question as to who Tris's will be.

As I settle in next to Tris for the night, I can tell she is thinking about something. The question I'm about to ask, probably. She was guarded the entire time we were visiting with Uriah.

"Can I ask you something?" I say, running the pad of my thumb across her ravens. She doesn't tense like she usually does when we get serious. I think confrontation might scare her a little. She is expecting my question.

"Yes."

I think of my words. She won't look at me in the eyes, which worries me. Better to get this over with. "When we were talking to Uriah, he said something about seeing a light, or Will, and you got weird." I breathe in. "Did you see Will?"

"No." She breathes. I sigh, releasing my body. I didn't know I was so tense. "I saw my mother, though." She adds, watching my face to gauge my reaction.

I tense again. Tris died. She went to Heaven and saw her mother. My heart sinks as I think about a life without her. It hurts too much. I shake my head, to distract myself, mostly. "What?"

"I woke up in this white room, and my mother was there. She told me it was Heaven."

"You died." It's not a question.

"Yes."

"And you came back to life."

"Yes." Her voice is growing smaller, and if I could just see her eyes I could decide if she was getting tired or not. She's being short. She must not want to talk.

"How?"

She looks at me. "I got to decide. My mother, she told me I could go with her or stay with you." There is a small smile tugging at her downturned lips, and I want to smile, I really do, but the situation is too serious.

"And you chose to stay here, with me." I lock our hands together. She nods. I pull her into my chest, so that I can't see her face. I don't think I can look at her right now. I know how much she loves her mother and her family, even Caleb, and for her to have chosen me over them… I can't think of any good reason why she would do that. Even if I would have been in pain here without her, if she was happy… that's what really matters. I kiss her hair and try to keep telling myself that. "Why would you do that?"

She takes a deep breath. "There are so many ways to be brave in this world. Sometimes bravery involves laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, or for someone else, like my mother and father. Caleb. Sometimes it involves giving up everything you have ever known, or everyone you've ever loved, for the sake of something greater."

I chime in, still absorbing her words. "Like Peter."

She nods slowly. "But sometimes it doesn't." She pauses, chewing on her bottom lip. "Sometimes it's nothing more than gritting your teeth through pain, and the work of every day, the slow walk toward a better life." I hear the tears that threaten to fall. "That is the sort of bravery I must have now."

* * *

I watch her sleep. She is beautiful to me, even now that her eyes are closed and I think she might be having a nightmare. She looks like she's in pain.

"Tobias…" she whimpers. She's dreaming about me? "What should we name him?" I freeze. She's dreaming about what exactly—having my child? Something swells in my chest. I decide to call it pride.

I let myself think about a life with her. Does she want to get married? She's been talking to Christina in hushed whispers lately, and she usually only does that when it's about me. I've tried not to jump to conclusions, but it's hard.

I don't even know how I would approach the situation of marriage with her. I've always found it respectable to ask the family, but her family is all gone. The next closest thing would be Christina and Uriah.

I look at her again. Her dream has stopped, or at least changed. She is peaceful. It is okay to leave her now. Uriah's room is a few hallways over from Tris's. He is awake, surprisingly. It is well after 1 in the morning.

"Hey, Four!"

"Where's your overnight visitor?"

"It's Christina's turn. She went to scavenge some junk food."I sit in the chair next to the bed. 'What's up? I didn't expect a midnight visit from you of all people."

"I… want to discuss something with you."

"Shoot."

I clasp my hands, elbows on knees. "What do you think about me and Tris getting married?"

He whoops. "Hell yeah!"

I chuckle. "Glad you agree."

"Agree about what?" Christina enters, holding an armful of food. She dumps it on the end of the bed.

Uriah speaks before I can stop him. "Four is getting married!"

"What?" The look on her face scares me, and if she is waiting for me to explain, I shouldn't keep her waiting. There is a small smile playing her lips, though, so I can tell she isn't upset.

"I was just thinking about it. I haven't decided anything yet. That would be the next step though, right?"

Christina climbs up on the bed next to the junk food. Uriah grabs a bag of chips and answers. "Unless you want to skip the wedding and go straight to the honeymoon?"

She smacks his arm. "Don't be rude, Uri. I think it's sweet."

"I just needed to ask someone's permission. Usually it's family, but…" I trail off and pick up after the moment has passed. "Abnegation tradition. One I actually respect."

"We formally grant you permission." Christina gestures to her and Uriah. "Have you talked to Tris about this?"

My arms fall from my kness. "No." I haven't. What if she decides she doesn't want to get married?

"I can talk to her for you. You know, so you don't get embarrassed or rejected." She is smiling. She isn't worried. She knows something I don't. This eases my tensions a little. But only a little.

"Can we keep this between us?" I ask in a quiet voice.

"As long as I'm invited to the wedding," Uriah mutters with a full mouth of chips. He offers me the bag. "Want some?"

I stand. "No. Better get back before she wakes up." I walk out, and I hear Christina squeal as soon as I leave. She was holding back for my sake. I smile a bit, but sleep makes it hard to keep the statement on my face.

I reach Tris's room to find her in the same position I left her in. I slip off my shoes and crawl in next to her, too exhausted to think of anything.

* * *

**Once again, sorry for the long wait. I'm gonna try to whip out the rest of this story on my spring break. **

**Until Next Time,**

**Anabelgem14**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! Anabelgem14 here. I feel like this chapter needs an explanantion, but that will come at the end. **

**I'm not VRoth, and I don't own Chapter 52 of Allegiant, which is in italics towards the end. **

Tris

"Morning!" The nurse is cheery, and I want to smack the smile off of her face, but she seems genuinely happy, which makes it a little better.

I hear the shower running. It's probably Tobias.

"Your breakfast is on that platter next to you. After you eat, we can get you that sponge bath. I think you might be a little overdue."

"Great." The food looks unappetizing, but I am hungry. I have just finished my eggs when Tobias emerges from the bathroom, freshly shaven. He smiles at me.

"Morning," he says. He is happy this morning. I smile back at him.

"Hi." There is a freedom in my voice that the tilt of his head lets me know he notices. We are finally free. Uriah is alive, I am alive, Tobias is alive, and my leg is only slightly throbbing today. It's a miracle, really.

The nurse, one I've only seen briefly before now, has busied herself with tidying our room and rounding up dirty clothes. It's become a pig-sty in the past week. Tobias winks at me, and ducks out of the room. I scowl at his retreating form. Figures he would try to leave on the day that I would actually welcome his company. I don't like when other people give me baths.

My focus turns to the nurse. She is humming to herself. She would've been in Amity. I wonder if I will ever stop placing people into factions. Probably not. She catches me watching her and stops abruptly. "Sorry," she says.

"I like it. I think my mother used to sing it to me." I wait for the pain to come, like it always does when I think about her, but it doesn't. "What is it called?"

"You Are My Sunshine." The name sounds familiar, but I can't exactly place it with my mother.

"What's your name?" The words spill out before I can stop them. I didn't mean to be rude.

"Holly." Holly is older, with laugh lines and dark ringlets framing her face. She has a small scar on her forehead. She seems nice.

"I'm Tris."

She laughs, and the sound reminds me of my mother's. "I know."

I deadpan. She nods to the wall by the door. "Your chart." She walks over and flips a page. "Ready for this bath?"

As if on cue, Christina walks in. "I'm here to help!" A surge of gratitude rushes through me. Maybe a stranger seeing me naked won't be so bad if I can focus on something else. She sits her bag down with a heavy thud. I imagine it's filled with makeup and form flattering clothes. I try not to cringe. "You look rough, Tris."

After my bath, Christina has done something with my hair so that it's out of my face, and per my request, she's only lined my eyes to make them more noticeable. My leg is freshly bandaged, and the stitches have started to dissolve—a good sign, according to Holly.

Tobias strolls in with a wheelchair and a plastic bag late in the afternoon. I wonder where he's been all day.

"Let's go for a walk."

"You mean a you-push-me-around-because-I-can't-walk?"

The corners of his mouth twitch. "Something like that."

* * *

That's how I find myself sitting on the ground in a small open area next to Tobias, with a piece of Dauntless cake sitting in front of me. "How did you get this?"

He shrugs. "I went into the city today."

My eyes go wide. "How is it?"

"It's like a ghost town. On the rare occasion that I saw someone, they were milling around with no clue of what to do."

"What do you want to do?" He eyes me, picking at my cake.

"What do you mean?"

He takes a bite of cake, thinking. "Do you want to stay here," he waves his fork around the compound, "or do you want to go home? To Chicago?"

I sigh. "It's hard for me to call anything home right now. But whenever I'm with you, it feels like home."

He looks at me in the eyes. His are shining. Is he crying? "I'm going wherever you're going, Tris."

I lean in to kiss him, ignoring the sting from pulling my stitches. His arms wrap around me, pulling me down. My heart thuds fast in my chest.

Even though my eyes are closed, I think I trace the ink peeking out from his collar. I know this won't go anywhere like this, out in the open, but it's nice to feel him safe in my arms.

He pulls back to place a kiss on my temple. "Can I ask you something?" His lips still rest on my temple, so his words tickle me. I nod. "Will you live with me?"

I snap my head to look at him. He rushes to justify his words. "I mean, I just don't think I could stand to be away from you for more than I have to."

My stomach knots. "I like idea of that. What would my mother say? Us living together and not married?" It's supposed to be a joke.

"Do you want to be?"

_What?_

He moves away from me, and reaches into the bag and pulls out a box. And all of a sudden, this is real. This is very real. And for an instant, I am the most scared I have ever been.

* * *

Tobias

To say her face is shocked is the biggest understatement of the year.

_I didn't really plan on doing this today. I was walking around the Abnegation sector today, when I found myself at my old house, in my parents' room. _

_ My mother hadn't worn her wedding ring in a long time, because her marriage had stopped meaning something to her. I knew exactly where they were, in the jewelry box in her closet. Before I knew what I was doing, I pocketed them. Maybe I _would _ask Tris to marry me. There was a little chapel in the compound, maybe we could get married there before we came back to the city._

"Are you serious?" She was staring at the ring, and me, and then at the ring again. I'm sure the answer is no. Why hasn't she answered by now?

I nod. "Yes. Beatrice Prior, will you marry me?"

She looks down at her hands, biting her lip so hard it turns white. And then she extends her left hand to me. "Yes."

I smile. "Yeah?"

She nods. "Yeah."

So when I slip the ring on her finger, and kiss her, she kisses me back, and we fall down, and for a small eternity, we're the only two people on the planet.

* * *

Even though Christina knew that this was happening, she is still extremely—overly—excited.

"Tris! We have to find you a wedding dress."

I hear Tris snort. "Good luck getting me into a dress."

Christina groans. "How much time do I have?"

* * *

I wonder how Tris is going to come down the aisle. I know she's been working really hard to be able to walk down the aisle, but she has pushed me out of the room every time I've tried to support her. I admire her courage. It's something I still try to find in myself.

But I don't have that much longer to wait. Five minutes.

I tap my foot and look around the faces in the crowd. Per Tris's request, the first row of chairs is left empty. Those seats, I like to think, are filled with our lost family and friends. I imagine Will and Caleb sharing facts about weddings and divorce in a way only Erudite can. Lynn and Marlene will be asking Tori if she knows anything about the dress. She will shake her head, and lean over to Natalie. They will laugh, and Natalie will look at her husband, and they will share a look that Tris will never get to see. I imagine a few unpleasant faces, as well. Maybe Eric would be sitting by himself, yelling to everyone instead of getting up... I even think I see, for a fleeting minute, Al, in the very back, but then he is gone.

Christina is here, of course. Matthew is here, too, sitting near George and Amar. Cara is here, sitting next to Christina. Holly, Tris's favorite nurse, is sitting towards the back. Evelyn is here, too, and I catch her eye. She smiles at me.

I wonder how many people had to die so that we could be here today, representing our freedom. Too many. Some of them I will never know. I don't know if it makes me happy that I don't know them, or sad.

I can't decide. Because the door is opening. And she is walking down the aisle.

_When her body first hit the net, all I registered was a gray blur. I pulled her across it and her hand was small, but warm, and then she stood before me, short and thin and plain and in all ways unremarkable—except that she had jumped first. The Stiff had jumped first._

_ Even I didn't jump first._

_ Her eyes were so stern, so insistent._

_ Beautiful._

But that beauty does not compare to what is walking towards me now. There's nothing remarkable about her dress, which is just a white one that goes to her knees, or her hair, which is pulled back away from her face. But her face. She is smiling, truly smiling. And that is something I haven't seen in a very long time. It is one that she saves for me, the one that reaches her eyes and makes the corners of them crinkle.

So I give her the smile I save for her, the one where she gets a glimpse into the deepest part of me. Uriah is by her side, helping her walk, but also giving her away. She reaches me, and the preacher begins to speak. I should be paying attention, but I'm only watching her. She stands next to me, probably balancing on her good leg. I take her hand and she smiles up at me. "I wish we were alone." I whisper to her, not really caring if the preacher can hear me.

She blushes. "I almost always wish that."

And suddenly, we are alone in a room full of people.

* * *

**I'm not really happy with this chapter. Tris and Tobias deserved so much more. I tried to write this chapter 3 different times, and I had to force my way through this. It's very choppy, and I couldn't figure out a way to make it less choppy. **

**There's probably going to be one or two more chapters. **

**I'm really sorry, guys.**

**Could I please get one review letting me know that this isn't as bad I think it is? It would be my first review for this story! :)**

**anabelgem14**


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